Fathers Day

My birthday happened recently. You know what I did? Nothing. I never do anything for my birthday because I don't care. But I still get cards in the mail and people still call me on the phone. I realized the other day that now I have father's day to look forward to (that's sarcasm). So just because I impregnated my wife I'm going to get more cards in the mail and people will call me on the phone. And I just don't care. I have the baby right here in front of me, I don't need to be reminded that I'm a father. People need to realize that the greatest gift anyone can give me is to just leave me alone. Where other people get upset if you forget their birthday or don't say happy father's day, I am the opposite. I am disappointed when the phone rings. I just want to be left alone. And greeting card are a waste of trees and money, but no matter how much I tell people that, they just send them anyway. Because it's ingrained in people's heads that you're supposed to send a greeting card to people. Hallmark has people trained like the dogs we are. So here's one more shot at this: don't send me anything, don't call me to wish me a happy anything, don't plan a party for me, don't buy me a present. The best gift you can get me is the gift of silence.