It's become our new goal to sell a bunch of our crap and get out of debt. Today we opened a new bank account at a credit union so we can stop supporting the big for-profit banks. The bank provides a free debt counseling service and it looks like they might actually refinance our car at a lower interest rate. They said yes to the initial application, now they have to review our last two tax returns. We're keeping our fingers crossed.
I'm starting a new blog that is just a chronicling of our efforts to get out of debt. We've set a time frame of 2 years. 2 years to have a whole lot less junk and no debt.
View the blog here: Two Years To Debtlessness
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I actually agree with Republicans... WTF!
THe healthcare bill has passed and they are now going to mandate that all Americans buy healthcare from a private company. That, my friends, is a load of bullshit.
Today, ABC reports:
The individual mandate is an "unprecedented overreach by the federal government forcing individual citizens to buy a good or a service for no other reason then they happen to be alive or a person," Republican governor of Minnesota Tim Pawlenty said today on "Good Morning America."
The Republicans are challenging the constitutionality of the healthcare mandate and I agree and I hope they succeed. Some say, "well it's mandated that you purchase auto insurance on your car". Yes, only if you drive. You have an option not to drive. And if you individually refuse to not drive or have a job that requires driving, that doesn't make it something you HAVE to do. You are still choosing to drive. Not like you HAVE to be alive. The healthcare mandate is "you breath, you buy a product from a private, for-profit company". That is a perfect example of something that makes our free country a little less free. If our government wants every American to have health insurance, well they better find a wy to provide us with it.
And the subsidy for people who can't afford health insurance is no answer. It has a crap load of requirements and will be VERY hard to qualify for.
So, if the Republicans are unsuccessful and the mandate stays, I encourage people to not get healthcare if they wouldn't have without the mandate and I hope all of them refuse to pay the fine. I have a feeling that is going to be the case and it's going to cause a whole of problems and cost the tax payers a whole bunch of money. This is yet another one of Obama's great ideas that he royally fucked up on execution. And I'm not being sarcastic. The man has great ideas for making the country better, but by the time it gets passed he's compromised so much it turns into a steaming pile of shit. I have a feeling I won't be voting him into a second term.
I think we should do the opposite. I think everyone without insurance should refuse to get it, and I think people with insurance should start canceling it until they take the mandate out of the bill. We're supposed to live in a free country but we're being forced to do business with a private, for-profit company that's already charging outragous amounts, posting record profits and there is nothing it the bill that makes them lower their rates. They can actually still raise their rates a little more under this bill. It's fucking ridiculous. Everyone should cancel their insurance on the same day and send a message to the insurance companies that we're not taking it up the ass anymore.
But we won't, because we're lazy Americans who seem to have no problem taking up the ass from big corporations. So, good luck with that.
I know, I know, "but what if I get sick with no health insurance". I've lived for the past 10 years with no health insurance. I've been sick, I've been injured and I'm fine. and I'm not overrun with medical bills. If you know where to go, you can survive just fine. And this may come as a shocker, but most people don't need all the shit that they're on. There is no other country on the planet that suffers from as many "syndromes" or "disorders" than we do. And no other country takes as much medication as we do. "But what if I get cancer". Well, you can make all your decisions in life based on fear of what-if's, or you can do something that might actually be good for you and the country in the long run. It's up to the American people. We always want to blame the government for everything, but it's the American people that are responsible for everything that is going on in this country. You want more jobs: stop using companies that ship all their jobs overseas (Facebook being the newest company to do that), you want better banking rates: stop using the big private banks and switch to a credit union, you want better treatment of employees: stop shopping at Walmart and stores like it, you want better healthcare rates, refuse to pay for expensive insurance. We decide and we have decided that making a difference takes too much work. So screw the unemployed and screw the workers and screw the uninsured and screw ourselves, we don't want to put in the extra effort.
Today, ABC reports:
The individual mandate is an "unprecedented overreach by the federal government forcing individual citizens to buy a good or a service for no other reason then they happen to be alive or a person," Republican governor of Minnesota Tim Pawlenty said today on "Good Morning America."
The Republicans are challenging the constitutionality of the healthcare mandate and I agree and I hope they succeed. Some say, "well it's mandated that you purchase auto insurance on your car". Yes, only if you drive. You have an option not to drive. And if you individually refuse to not drive or have a job that requires driving, that doesn't make it something you HAVE to do. You are still choosing to drive. Not like you HAVE to be alive. The healthcare mandate is "you breath, you buy a product from a private, for-profit company". That is a perfect example of something that makes our free country a little less free. If our government wants every American to have health insurance, well they better find a wy to provide us with it.
And the subsidy for people who can't afford health insurance is no answer. It has a crap load of requirements and will be VERY hard to qualify for.
So, if the Republicans are unsuccessful and the mandate stays, I encourage people to not get healthcare if they wouldn't have without the mandate and I hope all of them refuse to pay the fine. I have a feeling that is going to be the case and it's going to cause a whole of problems and cost the tax payers a whole bunch of money. This is yet another one of Obama's great ideas that he royally fucked up on execution. And I'm not being sarcastic. The man has great ideas for making the country better, but by the time it gets passed he's compromised so much it turns into a steaming pile of shit. I have a feeling I won't be voting him into a second term.
I think we should do the opposite. I think everyone without insurance should refuse to get it, and I think people with insurance should start canceling it until they take the mandate out of the bill. We're supposed to live in a free country but we're being forced to do business with a private, for-profit company that's already charging outragous amounts, posting record profits and there is nothing it the bill that makes them lower their rates. They can actually still raise their rates a little more under this bill. It's fucking ridiculous. Everyone should cancel their insurance on the same day and send a message to the insurance companies that we're not taking it up the ass anymore.
But we won't, because we're lazy Americans who seem to have no problem taking up the ass from big corporations. So, good luck with that.
I know, I know, "but what if I get sick with no health insurance". I've lived for the past 10 years with no health insurance. I've been sick, I've been injured and I'm fine. and I'm not overrun with medical bills. If you know where to go, you can survive just fine. And this may come as a shocker, but most people don't need all the shit that they're on. There is no other country on the planet that suffers from as many "syndromes" or "disorders" than we do. And no other country takes as much medication as we do. "But what if I get cancer". Well, you can make all your decisions in life based on fear of what-if's, or you can do something that might actually be good for you and the country in the long run. It's up to the American people. We always want to blame the government for everything, but it's the American people that are responsible for everything that is going on in this country. You want more jobs: stop using companies that ship all their jobs overseas (Facebook being the newest company to do that), you want better banking rates: stop using the big private banks and switch to a credit union, you want better treatment of employees: stop shopping at Walmart and stores like it, you want better healthcare rates, refuse to pay for expensive insurance. We decide and we have decided that making a difference takes too much work. So screw the unemployed and screw the workers and screw the uninsured and screw ourselves, we don't want to put in the extra effort.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Baby Time!!!
It's baby time. Most of the time it's a constant investigation into what the baby wants and how to make him happy but occasionally he settles down and lets me snap a picture.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I'm Sorry, But Vaccines Don't Cause Autism
It's funny how you have a conversation about something and then over the next few days things just keep popping up about it. I was having a mildly heated debate about vaccines causing autism with my friend the other day and then over the past couple days I've seen two news articles about the same subject. Just now I got on the computer and my start page has goggle news on it and on of the top stories is: US Court Rules Again Against Vaccine-Autism Claim. It's an article in Reuters about the US Courts ruling against a parents baseless lawsuit for the fourth time.
Now let me clarify: I am not for vaccinations. I think that a majority of them are unnecessary and some are unsafe. And I think most drugs come with harmful side effects and I am very anti doctor and anti medication. That's what's so funny about this issue. I seem like I'm on the wrong side, but the other side is a bunch of bullshit.
Here is quick history of the whole 'vaccine causes autism' theory. From the 40's through the 90's there was a theory that a mercury based preservative caused autism. Now that theory was disproven, but the FDA felt that mercury was still bad and they made the companies that made vaccines faze it out. It's pretty much gone today except when a vaccine is rushed to the market (can anyone say swine flu vaccine?). After that it bacame a theory that the MMR vaccine is causing autism. Now that idea didn't materialize out of thin air. A British doctor named Dr. Wakefield did a study that showed a link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The study was published in The Lancet, one of the worlds largest medical journals. Well, funny thing is, just last month The Lancet publish a retraction to that very same article because they found out that Dr. Wakefield acted unethically in his research. It wides up the the good Dr. Wakefield found 12 kids that had already presented signs of autism and put them in his study. So the retraction was printed and Dr. Wakefield was fired from his job. So, the study that created the very first mention of this theory ended up being based on fraudulent research. In 2008 Columbia University replicated Dr. Wakefield's study and could not find any evidence that the vaccine was linked to autism.
This theory was presented way back in 1998 and it really didn't get much mention. It wasn't until a few years back when it got some celebrity buzz (Jenny McCarthy) that everyone got up in arms about it. Unfortunately it was a flawed theory that got the attention of a celebrity and all the mindless sheep followed along. And the reason that was so easy is because we live in a country when nobody wants to take the blame for anything. I mean, 10 years ago every kid you came across had ADD. Autism is just the new ADD. It gives parents something else to blame for their kids behavior. Has social issues: Autism. Doesn't do well in school: Autism. And of course their are genuinely autistic kids, but the difference is that those kids have autism, the rest are just diagnosed with it. Because there are parents who go to the doctor looking for an autism diagnosis. So they can take all the blame off of their parenting.
The reason for all of this is to find out why the amount of autism diagnosis is up. Well a few years back they changed the way they diagnosed autism. They took a bunch of different kinds of autism and put them all together so there is only one kind of autism and at the same time, they made the symptoms much broader. Making it easier to find a diagnosis. The very same year autism diagnosis when up 800%. That's no coincidence.
So by all mean, be skeptical of the vaccines and the medications and your doctor. I am all for that. And is it possible that there is some link between any vaccine and autism, sure, anything is possible. But right now, no matter what list of talking points someone gives you, there is no evidence anywhere in the world that shows any sort of link. Yes there are kids who have autism that got vaccines, but there is no research anywhere that says it's from their vaccine. There are shitload of perfectly healthy kids that did get the MMR vaccine. And there are actually some kids who have autism that never got vaccinated.
It's all up in the air but this mass hysteria is completely baseless. It causing more people to try to use the system to sue over something that is most likely their fault. More likely possibilities of a rise in autism (if there really is one) are: diet, pesticides, preservatives, man made formula, taking anti-depressants while pregnant. And there are about 4 anti-depressants that say they are safe to take while pregnant or nursing, but are they?
And while I'm on the subject, I looked it up and yes Amish people do get vaccines for their kids. There is a clinic in Pennsylvania (where the largest Amish population is) that says they do a weekly vaccine clinic for the Amish and they are always very busy. they say that about 70% of the Amish community participate is a vaccination schedule. And the same doctor that holds the clinic said there are Amish kids who are autistic but they are less diagnoses because the Amish don't see a regular doctor very often. He said that there do seem to be less autistic kids but it's most likely from diet and lifestyle.
See, if we admit that a possible rise in autism is from diet and lifestyle, well again we would have to blame ourselves and actually change. And we're a country full of people who don't want to do that and THAT is what fuels this "the vaccine gave my kid autism" rage. And of course as soon as a family finds out their kid has autism, what's the first thing they do? They try to sue. It's their meal ticket and it's bullshit.
So if it's one of the things you want to consider when deciding which vaccinations to get, you're not crazy. Even a theory is enough to pay attention to your child's safety. But it is a theory. There are doctors and scientists on both sides of the issue and there are no studies proving or disproving it. So call it a theory, call it an idea, call it a warning, but telling people it is anything more is a lie. Honestly I'm getting our son the MMR vaccination just out of spite for Jenny McCarthy... Screw you Jenny!
CNN: Medical Journal Retracts Study Linking Vaccine To Autism
Do The Amish Vaccinate, Indeed They Do
Now let me clarify: I am not for vaccinations. I think that a majority of them are unnecessary and some are unsafe. And I think most drugs come with harmful side effects and I am very anti doctor and anti medication. That's what's so funny about this issue. I seem like I'm on the wrong side, but the other side is a bunch of bullshit.
Here is quick history of the whole 'vaccine causes autism' theory. From the 40's through the 90's there was a theory that a mercury based preservative caused autism. Now that theory was disproven, but the FDA felt that mercury was still bad and they made the companies that made vaccines faze it out. It's pretty much gone today except when a vaccine is rushed to the market (can anyone say swine flu vaccine?). After that it bacame a theory that the MMR vaccine is causing autism. Now that idea didn't materialize out of thin air. A British doctor named Dr. Wakefield did a study that showed a link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The study was published in The Lancet, one of the worlds largest medical journals. Well, funny thing is, just last month The Lancet publish a retraction to that very same article because they found out that Dr. Wakefield acted unethically in his research. It wides up the the good Dr. Wakefield found 12 kids that had already presented signs of autism and put them in his study. So the retraction was printed and Dr. Wakefield was fired from his job. So, the study that created the very first mention of this theory ended up being based on fraudulent research. In 2008 Columbia University replicated Dr. Wakefield's study and could not find any evidence that the vaccine was linked to autism.
This theory was presented way back in 1998 and it really didn't get much mention. It wasn't until a few years back when it got some celebrity buzz (Jenny McCarthy) that everyone got up in arms about it. Unfortunately it was a flawed theory that got the attention of a celebrity and all the mindless sheep followed along. And the reason that was so easy is because we live in a country when nobody wants to take the blame for anything. I mean, 10 years ago every kid you came across had ADD. Autism is just the new ADD. It gives parents something else to blame for their kids behavior. Has social issues: Autism. Doesn't do well in school: Autism. And of course their are genuinely autistic kids, but the difference is that those kids have autism, the rest are just diagnosed with it. Because there are parents who go to the doctor looking for an autism diagnosis. So they can take all the blame off of their parenting.
The reason for all of this is to find out why the amount of autism diagnosis is up. Well a few years back they changed the way they diagnosed autism. They took a bunch of different kinds of autism and put them all together so there is only one kind of autism and at the same time, they made the symptoms much broader. Making it easier to find a diagnosis. The very same year autism diagnosis when up 800%. That's no coincidence.
So by all mean, be skeptical of the vaccines and the medications and your doctor. I am all for that. And is it possible that there is some link between any vaccine and autism, sure, anything is possible. But right now, no matter what list of talking points someone gives you, there is no evidence anywhere in the world that shows any sort of link. Yes there are kids who have autism that got vaccines, but there is no research anywhere that says it's from their vaccine. There are shitload of perfectly healthy kids that did get the MMR vaccine. And there are actually some kids who have autism that never got vaccinated.
It's all up in the air but this mass hysteria is completely baseless. It causing more people to try to use the system to sue over something that is most likely their fault. More likely possibilities of a rise in autism (if there really is one) are: diet, pesticides, preservatives, man made formula, taking anti-depressants while pregnant. And there are about 4 anti-depressants that say they are safe to take while pregnant or nursing, but are they?
And while I'm on the subject, I looked it up and yes Amish people do get vaccines for their kids. There is a clinic in Pennsylvania (where the largest Amish population is) that says they do a weekly vaccine clinic for the Amish and they are always very busy. they say that about 70% of the Amish community participate is a vaccination schedule. And the same doctor that holds the clinic said there are Amish kids who are autistic but they are less diagnoses because the Amish don't see a regular doctor very often. He said that there do seem to be less autistic kids but it's most likely from diet and lifestyle.
See, if we admit that a possible rise in autism is from diet and lifestyle, well again we would have to blame ourselves and actually change. And we're a country full of people who don't want to do that and THAT is what fuels this "the vaccine gave my kid autism" rage. And of course as soon as a family finds out their kid has autism, what's the first thing they do? They try to sue. It's their meal ticket and it's bullshit.
So if it's one of the things you want to consider when deciding which vaccinations to get, you're not crazy. Even a theory is enough to pay attention to your child's safety. But it is a theory. There are doctors and scientists on both sides of the issue and there are no studies proving or disproving it. So call it a theory, call it an idea, call it a warning, but telling people it is anything more is a lie. Honestly I'm getting our son the MMR vaccination just out of spite for Jenny McCarthy... Screw you Jenny!
CNN: Medical Journal Retracts Study Linking Vaccine To Autism
Do The Amish Vaccinate, Indeed They Do
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Way I Am
I was 5 years old when my parents divorced. My dad was much more concerned with himself, his stuff and his image than his children. He had visitations every other weekend but a lot of times he wouldn't show up. After couple of years my mother wanted to move us from Califonia to Washington which is normally a big custody no-no. But my mom threatened to take half his business if he didn't let her move us, so he caved. his money was more important to him then us. Then there were sporadic calls and maybe three visits for the rest of our childhoods. One time he called and asked if I was going to be the wrong age in the wrong month. The guy didn't even know when my birthday was. He died when I was 17. He died without knowing anything about his two children. He died with two children who didn't give a crap about him and knew that the feeling was mutual. Occasionally he would send us money or try to buy our love somehow, but my sister and I could see right through that. He was a selfish person who had helped create two life's and didn't give a shit about them.
This was what I struggled with growing up. Why didn't my dad love me? How could somebody have a son and not care about them at all? How could he just disregard me like that? I started driving myself crazy convincing myself that I apparently wasn't worth his love. Drinking was one of the few things that made the thoughts go away. And of course I was turning into an alcoholic which made me believe that it was my lot in life to turn out just like him. Drink and put myself into financial trouble and eventually die young.
I eventually stopped drinking and had to really struggle to come to terms with my issues with my father. And things have been much better, but it's not like they ever went away. If you people only knew the amount of shit that's going on inside my head. It's like a crowded room of noise that follows me around 24/7. Sometimes it keeps me up at night and sometimes I sleep through it but it translates into horrible nightmares. They're nightmares that I don't really talk about. Before Elliott was born they would mainly be of myself being hunted down by something unknown. Something was after me and I couldn't get away no matter what I did. I could just barely stay one step ahead of it and I couldn't stop and I couldn't rest, I had to keep running. Other times I would have nightmares that my sister was being beaten or killed by somebody. Sometimes my mom's old abusive boyfriend who lived with us for many years after the divorce. Either that or she'd be being beaten by someone cloaked in darkness. Now my nightmares have shifted to me dying and leaving my family alone or, as much as I hate to say it, of me killing the baby. And not in accidental ways, I have nightmares of me intentionally killing Elliott. I don't know why or what that means but I can tell you that I have never experienced a single waking moment where I have wanted anything bad to happen to him. Not even when he's fussing and crying. I actually think his little sad face is cute.
So now that you all realize that I'm shit-nuts, I'll continue my story.
I worked on my issues with my dad a lot. I've struggled with depression and still do but things were much better and I was really coming to terms with my dad basically telling me to fuck off. The only problem is that I did this stuff before I had a son. Now that I have a son of my own I am driving myself crazy again trying to figure out how you could just abandon him. How is that act possible?!?! So I find myself having a hard time getting attached to him because the more I do, the more I don't get my dad. And of course I tell myself, "my dad was just broken." He was a broken person. But I'm not fully functioning myself. Hell, I dream about killing my kid. We all have some defects. But of course I do get more attached to him and I love him more and more every day. I can think there is no way that I could ever love this little guy any more, there is not any more love in the entire world, I'm using it all up on him right now; but the the next day you realize that yesterday you were wrong. And the loving of my son makes me happy, but the shit in my head kicks up a notch and I'm right back where I was.
I hate sounding like some whiny famous person on celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew. "Whaa, whaa, daddy didn't love me enough." I'm not the kind of guy that needs to be showered with affection, but nothing at all? It's just something I can't wrap my head around.
So if anyone wants to know why I am the way I am? Good luck. This might give you a hint but really who knows. And anyone who thinks I should act a different way or do things differently, I don't have the time or energy to deal with making you happy. I have enough on my hands with own shit. Honestly, you're lucky that I am not 10 times worse than I am. I really do have to work hard at being as non-offensive as I am right now. The rest of the time I'm telling all the other people in my head to shut up. But they don't and they probably never will.
This was what I struggled with growing up. Why didn't my dad love me? How could somebody have a son and not care about them at all? How could he just disregard me like that? I started driving myself crazy convincing myself that I apparently wasn't worth his love. Drinking was one of the few things that made the thoughts go away. And of course I was turning into an alcoholic which made me believe that it was my lot in life to turn out just like him. Drink and put myself into financial trouble and eventually die young.
I eventually stopped drinking and had to really struggle to come to terms with my issues with my father. And things have been much better, but it's not like they ever went away. If you people only knew the amount of shit that's going on inside my head. It's like a crowded room of noise that follows me around 24/7. Sometimes it keeps me up at night and sometimes I sleep through it but it translates into horrible nightmares. They're nightmares that I don't really talk about. Before Elliott was born they would mainly be of myself being hunted down by something unknown. Something was after me and I couldn't get away no matter what I did. I could just barely stay one step ahead of it and I couldn't stop and I couldn't rest, I had to keep running. Other times I would have nightmares that my sister was being beaten or killed by somebody. Sometimes my mom's old abusive boyfriend who lived with us for many years after the divorce. Either that or she'd be being beaten by someone cloaked in darkness. Now my nightmares have shifted to me dying and leaving my family alone or, as much as I hate to say it, of me killing the baby. And not in accidental ways, I have nightmares of me intentionally killing Elliott. I don't know why or what that means but I can tell you that I have never experienced a single waking moment where I have wanted anything bad to happen to him. Not even when he's fussing and crying. I actually think his little sad face is cute.
So now that you all realize that I'm shit-nuts, I'll continue my story.
I worked on my issues with my dad a lot. I've struggled with depression and still do but things were much better and I was really coming to terms with my dad basically telling me to fuck off. The only problem is that I did this stuff before I had a son. Now that I have a son of my own I am driving myself crazy again trying to figure out how you could just abandon him. How is that act possible?!?! So I find myself having a hard time getting attached to him because the more I do, the more I don't get my dad. And of course I tell myself, "my dad was just broken." He was a broken person. But I'm not fully functioning myself. Hell, I dream about killing my kid. We all have some defects. But of course I do get more attached to him and I love him more and more every day. I can think there is no way that I could ever love this little guy any more, there is not any more love in the entire world, I'm using it all up on him right now; but the the next day you realize that yesterday you were wrong. And the loving of my son makes me happy, but the shit in my head kicks up a notch and I'm right back where I was.
I hate sounding like some whiny famous person on celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew. "Whaa, whaa, daddy didn't love me enough." I'm not the kind of guy that needs to be showered with affection, but nothing at all? It's just something I can't wrap my head around.
So if anyone wants to know why I am the way I am? Good luck. This might give you a hint but really who knows. And anyone who thinks I should act a different way or do things differently, I don't have the time or energy to deal with making you happy. I have enough on my hands with own shit. Honestly, you're lucky that I am not 10 times worse than I am. I really do have to work hard at being as non-offensive as I am right now. The rest of the time I'm telling all the other people in my head to shut up. But they don't and they probably never will.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Fathers Day
My birthday happened recently. You know what I did? Nothing. I never do anything for my birthday because I don't care. But I still get cards in the mail and people still call me on the phone. I realized the other day that now I have father's day to look forward to (that's sarcasm). So just because I impregnated my wife I'm going to get more cards in the mail and people will call me on the phone. And I just don't care. I have the baby right here in front of me, I don't need to be reminded that I'm a father. People need to realize that the greatest gift anyone can give me is to just leave me alone. Where other people get upset if you forget their birthday or don't say happy father's day, I am the opposite. I am disappointed when the phone rings. I just want to be left alone. And greeting card are a waste of trees and money, but no matter how much I tell people that, they just send them anyway. Because it's ingrained in people's heads that you're supposed to send a greeting card to people. Hallmark has people trained like the dogs we are. So here's one more shot at this: don't send me anything, don't call me to wish me a happy anything, don't plan a party for me, don't buy me a present. The best gift you can get me is the gift of silence.
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