18 Weeks 6 Days: Back on Track

Dear Baby,

I tried to play it cool when I first found out that you were on your way. It was about 3 days and then I found myself standing in the shower yelling "FUUUUUUUCK!" up at the ceiling. Then I panicked. I needed a new career and all these things in our lives need to change. And so I ventured forth into an unknown of dress shirts, ties and insurance sales. Even though I kept telling myself that I was doing this for you and that I didn't care what I do for a living as long as I made a good life for you, I couldn't force myself to be happy. I could try to convince myself all day that being a general contractor was not a good job to have while raising a family, but I couldn't make myself believe it. I missed it. I was cramped up in a cubicle, dreaming of being outside creating something with my bare hands.

And I then I figured something out: Why should I teach my child that it's acceptable to be miserable at work just to make more money? I don't want to send that message. And I don't want to do something I don't love doing all day long. So I ripped of the neck-tie noose and because free of that cubicle! Instead of having a dad that brings home a lot of money, you're going to have a dad who's happy and think that's far more important. And if I just focus on what I'm doing and be smart about how I advertise and get referrals, I could be much more successful than I am now. And it's not even like I don't make very much money. In the time I've owned my business I have made a lot of money. There are just slow periods that scare me. But there are a lot of other things I enjoy doing that I can do on the saide, from home, that can supplement the income. I'd like to build furniture and sell it. And I'm learning HTML & CSS right now to improve my own website, but maybe I could do a little web design on the side. It couldn't hurt and I love doing that kind of stuff. I love creating.

So I hope that I can stay organized and build my business up enough for you to have a comfortable life. I'm doing everything I can while still staying happy.