People always tell me that I will make a great dad. I always questioned those people's judgment as I am opinionated and hate, pretty much, everything.
Today, I left the job site because I needed some lunch, a broom and a rake. So I went to Fred Meyer because we all know it's your on stop shopping place. I had my trailer hooked to my truck so I parked kinda of far out in the parking lot away from the store. I have to do that so I can pull through and use two spots for my truck and my trailer. Anyway, I was walking across the parking lot and without even thinking, I put both my arms out straight and started alternating them back and forth while making airplane sound. A girl passing me gave me a funny look and I stopped. Not because I cared what she thought. To quote Adam Carolla, "there are two things people really need to know about me: I don't care and I don't care." But that lady's funny look made me realize I was actually doing that.
And then I cracked a little smile because I realized at that moment that those people are right. I'm going to make a pretty awesome dad. All my pessimism and negativity doesn't matter because I'm fun and I have the mind of a child so at least when the kid is little I'll be a good dad. They'll still hate me when they're a teenager, but what teenager doesn't hate their parent. I can live with that. My hatred of all things 'idiot' will still be there, but I think it will be overpowered by my imaginative nature. We'll see.
Friday, June 26, 2009
9 Weeks 5 Days: Business as Usual
This is one of those lulls where not much new is happening. Things are business as usual. In a week or two Krystal will have another doctor's appointment in which case she'll be able to hear the heartbeat. But until then, not much has changed.
The Oregon Health Plan guy had asked for extra paperwork because, of course, we make too much money to qualify, even though Krystal doesn't make that much and I'm running a company that's going out of business, but whatever. He said that we were close though so if he gets more info he might be able to use different calculations to make us qualify. It just seems ridiculous. I'm making up a bunch of postcards this weekend to send out to all my Senators, House Reps, ect telling them to give us some god damned healthcare. We have a constitutional right to an education, but not a constitutional right to healthcare? You may be dying, but you'll be smart while you're doing it!
The Oregon Health Plan guy had asked for extra paperwork because, of course, we make too much money to qualify, even though Krystal doesn't make that much and I'm running a company that's going out of business, but whatever. He said that we were close though so if he gets more info he might be able to use different calculations to make us qualify. It just seems ridiculous. I'm making up a bunch of postcards this weekend to send out to all my Senators, House Reps, ect telling them to give us some god damned healthcare. We have a constitutional right to an education, but not a constitutional right to healthcare? You may be dying, but you'll be smart while you're doing it!
Monday, June 22, 2009
9 Weeks 1 Day: Heart Monitor
My blood pressure was 170 over 110 when I left my doctor's appointment last week. I checked it a couple time since then and it went down a little. Then today I got myself I nice little portable blood pressure checker that goes right on your wrist. When I came home and checked it, it was 142 over 87. Not bad. The doctor said I would noticeably feel better. I didn't notice any symptoms because my blood pressure had gotten higher so gradually, but having it come way down really fast, I do notice my head feels clearer. I feel less light headed and it seems like my eyesight is a bit better. Like the doctor said, I didn't notice these things before, but now I do now that they're getting better.
Krystal and I have had a few conversations about changes to the baby names we picked out long ago. We always just end up back at the same names. I haven't told anyone what they are or asked anyone what they think of them because, frankly, I don't care. I don't get people who ask everyone they know if they like the name they want to name their upcoming child and then get disappointed if even one person says something negative about it. I've heard people say they actually picked a name other than their first choice because some of their friends didn't like it. Are you out of your mind? I'll name my kid whatever I want. If I want to name him Hannibal Lecter O'Neal I will. Those people that named their kid Adolf Hitler Campbell and their other kid something Aryan Nation Campbell, as stupid as they are, have all the right in the world to name their kids that. Just as much as I have a right to think they're stupid. You are more than welcome to not like my kid's name, but I'm just telling you now, I don't care.
Krystal and I have had a few conversations about changes to the baby names we picked out long ago. We always just end up back at the same names. I haven't told anyone what they are or asked anyone what they think of them because, frankly, I don't care. I don't get people who ask everyone they know if they like the name they want to name their upcoming child and then get disappointed if even one person says something negative about it. I've heard people say they actually picked a name other than their first choice because some of their friends didn't like it. Are you out of your mind? I'll name my kid whatever I want. If I want to name him Hannibal Lecter O'Neal I will. Those people that named their kid Adolf Hitler Campbell and their other kid something Aryan Nation Campbell, as stupid as they are, have all the right in the world to name their kids that. Just as much as I have a right to think they're stupid. You are more than welcome to not like my kid's name, but I'm just telling you now, I don't care.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
9 Weeks 0 Days: Speaking of Retards
I know I'm going to get a big backlash for my title, so I want to explain that I don't think handicapped people are idiots. When I say retard, I don't mean anyone with any sort of legitimate disability, I mean someone who is just an idiot with no diagnosed mental handicap. They're just stupid for no good reason. I will give you an example:
A while back there was a young woman named Louise Ogborn, 19, who worked at McDonalds. She was called back into the manager's office and told there was a cop on the phone who accused her of stealing. As the man on the phone requested, she was strip searched, made to run in place naked, do jumping jacks naked, the managers boyfriend spanked her for a while and then, because the "cop" on the phone told her she had to, she gave the manager's boyfriend a blowjob. And I watch her in an interview, when she was asked why she did it, say "I was always told to obey adults and do what I'm told." WTF?!?! What about when a stranger pulls up in a van and asks you to get in? Did your parent's never teach you about that? I belive they meant "do what you're told, WITHIN REASON!" And the guy on the phone wasn't really a cop, surprise, surprise. Then she was awarded 6.1 million dollars! For being an idiot! That lady is a retard. I'm sure she could go through all the testing in the world and find no mental or physical deficiency whatsoever, but that was still her decision making process. That makes her a retard.
The other creepy thing about that girl is there was a picture of her in court, the caption said it was right after testifying, and she has the biggest smile on her face. Wouldn't you be upset after recounting what happened to you? It was because she was originally suing for 200 million and she knew this was her big payday.
And my big fear is that our kid will do something stupid like that. I'm sure she just inherited her parents' stupidity, but what if they really were good parents? What if they wanted her to do what she was told (what parent doesn't) and figured she would follow that request with some sort of discression. I mean, who in their right mind would think that a cop, on the phone, is asking you to get naked, let some dude spank you and then telling you you have to give him oral sex? What legal standing is there in any situation that would require a blow job? How is it that a little signal in her head didn't go "hey, I don't think we should do this." And let's say there is really a cop on the phone, wouldn't you just say, "screw you, arrest me. I'm not giving you a blowjob." I just can't wrap my head around that whole situation.
I just really hope my kid develops some sort of street smarts. I already told Krystal, especially if we have a girl, our child will eventually know a lot of self defence. I can teach our kid how to get out of any sort of hold if someone grabs them. I am going to either make them safe or make them extremely paranoid...
A while back there was a young woman named Louise Ogborn, 19, who worked at McDonalds. She was called back into the manager's office and told there was a cop on the phone who accused her of stealing. As the man on the phone requested, she was strip searched, made to run in place naked, do jumping jacks naked, the managers boyfriend spanked her for a while and then, because the "cop" on the phone told her she had to, she gave the manager's boyfriend a blowjob. And I watch her in an interview, when she was asked why she did it, say "I was always told to obey adults and do what I'm told." WTF?!?! What about when a stranger pulls up in a van and asks you to get in? Did your parent's never teach you about that? I belive they meant "do what you're told, WITHIN REASON!" And the guy on the phone wasn't really a cop, surprise, surprise. Then she was awarded 6.1 million dollars! For being an idiot! That lady is a retard. I'm sure she could go through all the testing in the world and find no mental or physical deficiency whatsoever, but that was still her decision making process. That makes her a retard.
The other creepy thing about that girl is there was a picture of her in court, the caption said it was right after testifying, and she has the biggest smile on her face. Wouldn't you be upset after recounting what happened to you? It was because she was originally suing for 200 million and she knew this was her big payday.
And my big fear is that our kid will do something stupid like that. I'm sure she just inherited her parents' stupidity, but what if they really were good parents? What if they wanted her to do what she was told (what parent doesn't) and figured she would follow that request with some sort of discression. I mean, who in their right mind would think that a cop, on the phone, is asking you to get naked, let some dude spank you and then telling you you have to give him oral sex? What legal standing is there in any situation that would require a blow job? How is it that a little signal in her head didn't go "hey, I don't think we should do this." And let's say there is really a cop on the phone, wouldn't you just say, "screw you, arrest me. I'm not giving you a blowjob." I just can't wrap my head around that whole situation.
I just really hope my kid develops some sort of street smarts. I already told Krystal, especially if we have a girl, our child will eventually know a lot of self defence. I can teach our kid how to get out of any sort of hold if someone grabs them. I am going to either make them safe or make them extremely paranoid...
9 Weeks 0 Days: Stare Hard Retard
I am going to teach my kids, as all of you should be doing, to not stare. Why do all kids stare at everyone as they're passing by? It's not even a stare. It's a slack jawed gawk. I've decided that I'm going to name my child Bobby DON'T GAWK O'Neal. That'll learn him.
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